Details Leak on 2013 RVSR Route

While the course of Ronde von SanRaflaanderran is not generally a closely held secret, PHRO has gone to great lengths this year to keep the parcours under wraps until two weeks from the start. With a Press Conference scheduled for March 3rd, it is widely assumed that PHRO Chairman of the Bored, Joos Litvalk will present the full course at the event. However with just under three weeks until the traditional season opener Marin-Roubaix kicks off the Marin World Cup, this columnist has learned from confidential sources of several key components of this year SanRaflaanderrs route:

According to the source, the route this year will include several prolonged dirt/gravel sectors which is a marked contrast to recent editions which have had the key points in the fake-race occur on paved climbs. The move by PHRO to expand the off-pavement sectors of the route are likely a response to pressure by the fans to liven up the latter sections of the contest. 

Also, the riders will allegedly contest a key new section, the Southern Marin de l'Arbre, a 4.8km portion of seldom used gravel road stretching from near the summit of the Camino-Berg and exiting above the Woodland-berg. 

Perhaps the most interesting detail to be learned is that none of the standard fare key bergs from years past such as the Kingberg, Redwoodberg, Havenberg or Ironberg will be included. Instead a trio of little known climbs will be featured including the Upper-Toyonberg, the Fossberg and, what could to prove to be the decisive climb of the fake-race, the Fishberg, a fearsome 1.2km gravel wall featuring grades up to 18%. Also included in the standard 11 berg roster will be the gravel Sorichberg and Lagoberg.

More details are sure to come. Check back later this week for our Contenders/Pretenders/Retreads breakdown.

Marin World Cup 2013

Marin World Cup

2013

Marin-Roubaix

Sunday, March 17

3:30pm

Ronde von SanRaflaanderran

Sunday, March 24th

3:30pm

SanRaflaanderrs 2012 Results and Report

Lodewick Does MWC Double After Tense Showdown with Clijisters on Redwoodberg

At the Start Line

Heading to the start line on Sunday afternoon, the 2012 Ronde vonSanRaflaanderran, unlike years past, was a fake-race without a prohibitive favorite. The past week's Marin-Roubaix failed to produce a strong candidate: although Jonas Lodewick took the victory, it was largely due to Ken Hushvod's navigational error in the finale. Thibauld Thomas who rode strong last week was scratched due to a failed doping control while reigning two time RVSR champion Markus Clijisters and perennial Lantern Rouge R.A. vonSchmidt were unknown factors.

Clijisters looking comfortable
 on the Monte-SanRafaael

The group rode out under unusually warm sunny skies which apparently warmed the cockles of Hushvod to the extent that he made a spirited move on the first climb of the day, the Highlandberg. Clearly feeling the whispers of SanRaflaanderrs past and with the looming specter of the Monte-SanRafaael, Hushvod soon saw the wisdom of his ways and made his way back into the fold of the field. 

Lodewick leading the group
over the Monte-SanRafaael

No sooner had the bunch crested said climb, then Hushvod again scampered away, clearly gunning for the first mid-fake-rake hot spot sprint which he took easily, although he would soon pay dearly for his enthusiasm. 
Over the punishing Lindaberg, the familiar Fawnberg and the newly minted Winkleberg, the group rode as a single rider, clearly biding their time for the fearsome Ironberg where almost immediately, Hushvod uttered a prodigious 

Hushvod showing the 

effects of the Ironberg

grunt (what locals call "The Mating Call of the Hedgehog"). Paced by a strong riding vonSchmidt, who was himself intent on sewing up the Lantern Rouge, clearly Hushvod's day was finished. 


After a strong move on the Ironberg by Lake Tahoe regional champion Servais Lengyel that spilt the field asunder, Lodewick, who had managed to just hold Lengyel's wheel, attacked down the tricky and technical backside of the Ironberg. Clijisters, in a bid to make it three straight RVSR titles, made a suicidal decent in 

VonSchmidt and Hushvod
formed an alliance

pursuit of Lodewick and managed to close the gap by the start of the Scenicberg climb. While Clijisters made several halfhearted moves, seemingly to gauge Lodewick's 
resolve, the duo rode steadily shoulder to shoulder over the Scenicberg and Humbleberg and on to the lower slopes of the Redwoodberg.

Servais Lengyel rode 

strong for 4th

Finally Clijisters, not content to take his chances in the sprint with Lodewick, launched a strong attack on the last switchback before the summit of the Redwoodberg in an effort to rid himself of his breakaway rival. Lodewick though, refused to panic and steadily closed the gap before putting Clijisters to the sword with a decisive move over the summit. While Clijisters gamely gave chase, Lodewick only increased his advantage over the Havenberg and rode to the finish with a gap of just under a minute to claim victory.

R.A. VonSchmidt Celebrating 

his 5th Lantern Rouge

Clijisters soloed in for second while a resurgent Hushvod, who had been left for dead on the Ironberg, managed to out fox Lengyel and vonSchmidt for 3rd. VonSchmidt easily extended his record setting streak of five consecutive Lantern Rouges.

For the first time in five years a tearful and emotional Lodewick sprayed the bubbly from the top step of the SanRaflaanderrs podium to claim the Marin World Cup double of Marin-Roubaix and the Ronde.  

Podium

Thibauld Thomas Scratched from SanRaflaanderrs

Rider Claims Health Issues but Leaked Information Points to Doping Violation

Thibauld Thomas

In a shocking development today, Thibauld Thomas announced that he was withdrawing from tomorrow's 2012 Ronde vonSanRaflaanderran due to an unspecified "health related issue." That Thomas, who the bookies had as one of the favorites for victory after his strong podium placing at Marin-Roubaix, would voluntarily withdraw from the fake-race that he had repeatedly mentioned as one of his major season goals was, in itself surprising. 


However, shortly after his announcement, an unnamed source leaked the information the Thomas has returned a positive pre-competition tes for the banned substance Progesterone and his team immediately pulled him from the field to avoid a scandal. Thomas was not immediately available for comment. More information on this story as it develops.

Ronde vonSanRaflaanderran Official Fake-Race Announcement

Official Race Announcement:

Ronde von san Raflaanderran

Presented by PHRO.

April 22nd, 2012

Event Description:

The premiere event and crown jewel of the Marin World Cup "Super Month," the Ronde von San Raflaanderrs is a legendary event in the storied history of Marin County. Heroes are made and broken on the steep slopes of the many bergs, which are the signature in this test of courage. Littered throughout the countryside, these often savagely steep climbs are as varied as the riders who will contest the victory.

While the field will come from a myriad of backgrounds, San Raflaanderrs caters to the strongmen of the spring, riders who are able to attack with power up the short climbs as well as descend with abandon are the rule of the day. The only sure outcome is that whoever ends up on the podium will, no doubt, have earned their place.

An unusual parcours this year finds riders venturing into the farthest northern reaches of the county spending time in Northern SanRaflaanderrs as well as scaling several new climbs including the Monte-SanRafaael and the fearsomely steep Ironberg. Called by many the hardest course ever, the 2012 edition will likely be more a battle of attrition than one of tactics.

The course starts at B St and finishes at the top of the hill at the San Anselmo Theological Seminary. It is NOT a closed course and riders can be expected to see automobiles, pedestrians, hikers and possibly other cyclists.

Event Schedule:

5:30 pm – Ceremonial parade departure from the Hushvod Boosters Clubhouse on B St, San Rafael.
5:45 pm – Neutral Zone Ends

6:30 pm – Monte-SanRafaael 

7:00 pm – Winkleberg

7:15 pm – Ironberg

7:45 pm – Redwoodberg

8:00 pm – Finish (estimated)

8:15 pm – Results and podium ceremony at Hushvod Boosters Clubhouse.

BREAKING NEWS: San Raflaanderrs Start moved back to 5:30pm.

PHRO cites conflict with local farmers market as reason.

Lodewick during the press conference

In a hastily called press conference today, Joos Lodewick, announced that due to a variety of concerns regarding local authorities and road closures, Sunday's Ronde vonSanRaflaanderran will start at 5:30pm instead of the scheduled 3pm start. According to the statement Lodewick read to the press, the primary issue was a concern for excessive pedestrian traffic on many of the course roads, an issue that riders faced in last week's Marin-Roubaix. 


The published timetable for the fake-race shows an expected finish time of between 7:30 and 8pm which should still negate the need for lighting systems, which was the primary reason for the scheduling change to a Sunday in the first place.


When a reporter from Sporza questioned Lodewick on whether rumors of the changed start time being an accommodation for Hushvod who reportedly has a family commitment that morning, a belligerently hostile Lodewick's only reply was "You know that your problem is?!?"

Marin-Roubaix 2012 – Results and Report

Wild and Wooly Fake Race Leave Lodewick Atop Podium

The Bikes of Marin-Roubaix

Perhaps the best thing that could be said about Sunday’s Marin-Roubaix fake-race is that, eventually, it finished. Without a doubt, story on everyone’s lips afterwards was the stunning manner with which Ken Hushvod, the overwhelming favorite on the day, managed to blow yet another victory to Jonas Lodewick when it looked as though Hushvod had the finish well in hand.

At the Startline

On a clear and warm afternoon that most expected to harbor high tempo attacking riding, this year’s edition of the "Hell of the North Bay" saw an unusually tactical fake-race and as usually is the case when the speed is low the resulting messy crashes and mechanicals. While the Pauw-Cloof sector was re-routed due to a greens-keepers strike, riders tackled the never before used Biscayne sector. Markus Clijisters and Hushvod (on his signature "tractor" bike setup) both made probing attacks that were quickly countered by Thibauld Thomas, R.A. vonSchmidt and Lodewick and at one point Hushvod and Lodewick were away together but had visibly angry words with each other with several spectators reporting hearing Lodwick repeatedly denouncing his breakaway companion as a “coward” for not riding. Perhaps as penance for his outburst Lodewick would briefly hit the deck, sliding out his wheel in the Bucks-en-Pévèle sector shortly thereafter.

Evidence of Lodewick's brief tumble

Multiple mechanicals were sustained over the next several sectors, with both von Schmidt and again Lodewick having rear wheel punctures just before the entrance to the dreaded Railroad d’Arenberg. Several helpful spectators who had obviously been “camping” under the motorway proffered helpful advice to the riders with one gentleman repeatedly exhorting them to “use some of that Slime stuff.” Tempers flared however shortly thereafter after vonSchmidt pointed declined one fans generous offer to share his bier while another spectator accused Clijisters and Thomas of “being cops or something.”

After forcing his way clear in the Railroad d’Arenberg with a shattered Lodewick clinging to his wheel, Hushvod repeated his fatal error of one year ago, taking a wrong turn in the penultimate intersection and handing a 3^rd consecutive victory to an incredulous Lodewick.

Meanwhile, an equally compelling narrative was unfolding behind in the battle for the final podium placing. The three-man chase group composed of vonSchmidt, Thomas and an aggressive Clijisters engaged in what can only be called hand-to-hand combat for the bronze placing. Clijisters, who had been an aggressor in the early portion of the route looked to be set up for the sprint while a confident and smooth riding vonSchmidt led the trio over the final sector of pave into the L’Ecole d’San Rafaaell stadium. However, a resurgent Thomas, who had earlier taken a nasty tumble over the bars in the Lagoon d’Arbre sector, jumped his chasing companions with nearly a lap to go and managed to hold off a desperate but ultimately futile pursuit by Clijisters to nap the final placing. VonSchmidt was fortunate to extend his streak of 5 consecutive Lantern Rouges and keep his perfect record intact.

Final Results:

1. Jonas Lodewick

2. Ken Hushvod

3. Thibauld Thomas

4. Markus Clijisters

5. R.A. vonSchmidt

The Podium

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