Dometic "incident" reported at Markus Clijisters San Anselmo Estate

Will it be Clijisters or Stevensteers at the Marin Roubaix start line?

Just days before the start of the 2013 Marin Roubaix, a domestic "incident" was reported at the Markus Clijisters estate in picturesque San Anselmo.

Neighbors in this exclusive neighborhood reported hearing a heated argument Thursday evening.  A San Anselmo police cruiser was dispatched to the gated estate.

The argument was reportedly over which family member should be at the Marin-Roubaix start line Sunday, March 17th. Both cannot be at the start-line due the care of their daughter, under 4 skuut world champion Daniela Clijisters.

While Markus Clijisters has been a veteran of the Marin World Championships and a former San Raflannders champion, his form, commitment and love of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale has been questioned. One vocal critic, according to several reports, has been Kaiser Permanente rider and wife Angelica Stevensteers. While both Clijisters and Stevensteers "had no comment" regarding the incident, neighbors reported hearing an extremely heated argument over who had the better chance of claiming a victory for the family. 

Neighbors reportedly could hear Stevensteers yelling, "Frankly, you're fat, and what have you won lately?  It is my turn to bring an overall championship into this house.  Winning is in my blood!" Clijisters poor performance of late and his absence at the epic mid-week Tour of Point Reyes would confirm this criticism.  It is assumed that Stevensteers mention of "winning is in the blood" refers to sister Eveleena mild success in the Women's Pro Tour, a lesser known race series than the PHRO.

Calls to race organizer and president Joos Litvalk to confirm the Sunday's start list have not been returned.

Marin - Roubaix Route Released

On Eve of MWC Opener, PHRO Makes Course Changes Official

With a scant 4 days remaining until the annual rite of spring, the Marin World Cup, PHRO President and Chairman of Sitting In Chairs Joos Litvalk today announced the office race route for this years gladiatorial role of the dice known as Marin-Roubaix. While following the traditional counter-clockwise direction around the Camp Chinois, there are a couple of minor changes from years past.

Most notably and perhaps disappointingly, is the removal of the Pau Clouf section of golf cart track that has traditionally served as a bit of an amuse-bouche for the riders before they tackled the famed pavé of the route. While always a popular section, a United Union of Greenskeepers strike has closed Pau Clouf for all sporting endeavors. Rumours that former fake-race Campionissimo, Jens Wynachtskenhoff engineered the strike in an attempt to gain publicity for his soon to be released memoir "L'Homme Grande Terrible" are, as yet, unconfirmed.

To fill the void left by the departure of Pau Clouf, a new sector, Pointe Camp Chinois, has been added as the first sector of pavé  bringing the total to 8. Included at the last minute in 2012, "le Pointe" as it's know to the locals, will certainly serve as a fitting first course.

As in years past, Marin-Roubaix will start at the former meeting hall of the Hushvod Boosters Club, at 1000 Bst in San Rafaaeel at 3:30pm and will finish with 1 1/2 laps of the track at L'Ecole d'San Rafaaeel stadium.

PHRO Drops RVSR Course Map at Press Conference

Litvalk Claims "Hardest Route Ever"
(but he says that every year...)

At the highly anticipated press conference today, PHRO Dictator in Chief Joos Litvalk revealed the route for the 2013 Ronde von SanRaflaanderran in a ceremony that was notable for it's unusual lack of pomp and circumstance. 

What was notable however, was the parcours itself which featured several never before used bergs as well as an unusually high number of lengthy offroad sectors. The inclusion of the new "Fishberg," a brutally steep, unpaved berg that is over 1km in length, and a nearly two km section of gravel road dubbed "La Ligne de Sud Marin" were a tie for most notable development this year. Those riders who manage to navigate the lengthy Ligne de Sud with a puncture will be rewarded for their efforts with the slippery dirt wall of the Fishberg.

Also announced was the now traditional route of the Marin-Roubaix which for the past decade has been run in the counter-clockwise direction, ending in the stadium of "L’Ecole d’San Rafaaell." 

Check back next week for our route analysis and other news as it develops.

Route Maps are available below for your viewing pleasure:

Details Leak on 2013 RVSR Route

While the course of Ronde von SanRaflaanderran is not generally a closely held secret, PHRO has gone to great lengths this year to keep the parcours under wraps until two weeks from the start. With a Press Conference scheduled for March 3rd, it is widely assumed that PHRO Chairman of the Bored, Joos Litvalk will present the full course at the event. However with just under three weeks until the traditional season opener Marin-Roubaix kicks off the Marin World Cup, this columnist has learned from confidential sources of several key components of this year SanRaflaanderrs route:

According to the source, the route this year will include several prolonged dirt/gravel sectors which is a marked contrast to recent editions which have had the key points in the fake-race occur on paved climbs. The move by PHRO to expand the off-pavement sectors of the route are likely a response to pressure by the fans to liven up the latter sections of the contest. 

Also, the riders will allegedly contest a key new section, the Southern Marin de l'Arbre, a 4.8km portion of seldom used gravel road stretching from near the summit of the Camino-Berg and exiting above the Woodland-berg. 

Perhaps the most interesting detail to be learned is that none of the standard fare key bergs from years past such as the Kingberg, Redwoodberg, Havenberg or Ironberg will be included. Instead a trio of little known climbs will be featured including the Upper-Toyonberg, the Fossberg and, what could to prove to be the decisive climb of the fake-race, the Fishberg, a fearsome 1.2km gravel wall featuring grades up to 18%. Also included in the standard 11 berg roster will be the gravel Sorichberg and Lagoberg.

More details are sure to come. Check back later this week for our Contenders/Pretenders/Retreads breakdown.

Marin World Cup 2013

Marin World Cup

2013

Marin-Roubaix

Sunday, March 17

3:30pm

Ronde von SanRaflaanderran

Sunday, March 24th

3:30pm

SanRaflaanderrs 2012 Results and Report

Lodewick Does MWC Double After Tense Showdown with Clijisters on Redwoodberg

At the Start Line

Heading to the start line on Sunday afternoon, the 2012 Ronde vonSanRaflaanderran, unlike years past, was a fake-race without a prohibitive favorite. The past week's Marin-Roubaix failed to produce a strong candidate: although Jonas Lodewick took the victory, it was largely due to Ken Hushvod's navigational error in the finale. Thibauld Thomas who rode strong last week was scratched due to a failed doping control while reigning two time RVSR champion Markus Clijisters and perennial Lantern Rouge R.A. vonSchmidt were unknown factors.

Clijisters looking comfortable
 on the Monte-SanRafaael

The group rode out under unusually warm sunny skies which apparently warmed the cockles of Hushvod to the extent that he made a spirited move on the first climb of the day, the Highlandberg. Clearly feeling the whispers of SanRaflaanderrs past and with the looming specter of the Monte-SanRafaael, Hushvod soon saw the wisdom of his ways and made his way back into the fold of the field. 

Lodewick leading the group
over the Monte-SanRafaael

No sooner had the bunch crested said climb, then Hushvod again scampered away, clearly gunning for the first mid-fake-rake hot spot sprint which he took easily, although he would soon pay dearly for his enthusiasm. 
Over the punishing Lindaberg, the familiar Fawnberg and the newly minted Winkleberg, the group rode as a single rider, clearly biding their time for the fearsome Ironberg where almost immediately, Hushvod uttered a prodigious 

Hushvod showing the 

effects of the Ironberg

grunt (what locals call "The Mating Call of the Hedgehog"). Paced by a strong riding vonSchmidt, who was himself intent on sewing up the Lantern Rouge, clearly Hushvod's day was finished. 


After a strong move on the Ironberg by Lake Tahoe regional champion Servais Lengyel that spilt the field asunder, Lodewick, who had managed to just hold Lengyel's wheel, attacked down the tricky and technical backside of the Ironberg. Clijisters, in a bid to make it three straight RVSR titles, made a suicidal decent in 

VonSchmidt and Hushvod
formed an alliance

pursuit of Lodewick and managed to close the gap by the start of the Scenicberg climb. While Clijisters made several halfhearted moves, seemingly to gauge Lodewick's 
resolve, the duo rode steadily shoulder to shoulder over the Scenicberg and Humbleberg and on to the lower slopes of the Redwoodberg.

Servais Lengyel rode 

strong for 4th

Finally Clijisters, not content to take his chances in the sprint with Lodewick, launched a strong attack on the last switchback before the summit of the Redwoodberg in an effort to rid himself of his breakaway rival. Lodewick though, refused to panic and steadily closed the gap before putting Clijisters to the sword with a decisive move over the summit. While Clijisters gamely gave chase, Lodewick only increased his advantage over the Havenberg and rode to the finish with a gap of just under a minute to claim victory.

R.A. VonSchmidt Celebrating 

his 5th Lantern Rouge

Clijisters soloed in for second while a resurgent Hushvod, who had been left for dead on the Ironberg, managed to out fox Lengyel and vonSchmidt for 3rd. VonSchmidt easily extended his record setting streak of five consecutive Lantern Rouges.

For the first time in five years a tearful and emotional Lodewick sprayed the bubbly from the top step of the SanRaflaanderrs podium to claim the Marin World Cup double of Marin-Roubaix and the Ronde.  

Podium

Thibauld Thomas Scratched from SanRaflaanderrs

Rider Claims Health Issues but Leaked Information Points to Doping Violation

Thibauld Thomas

In a shocking development today, Thibauld Thomas announced that he was withdrawing from tomorrow's 2012 Ronde vonSanRaflaanderran due to an unspecified "health related issue." That Thomas, who the bookies had as one of the favorites for victory after his strong podium placing at Marin-Roubaix, would voluntarily withdraw from the fake-race that he had repeatedly mentioned as one of his major season goals was, in itself surprising. 


However, shortly after his announcement, an unnamed source leaked the information the Thomas has returned a positive pre-competition tes for the banned substance Progesterone and his team immediately pulled him from the field to avoid a scandal. Thomas was not immediately available for comment. More information on this story as it develops.