PHRO Announces Marin World Cup Dates.

GP Ken Hushvod Folds due to lack of funding

In what is arguably the most anticipated press conference every year in the world of cycling, last night Joos Litvalk, President and Head Chucklehead of PHRO Racing, announced that

The Marin-Roubaix and the Ronde von SanRaflaanderran will be held on April 12^th and 19^th respectively. These dates represent a return to the original Tuesday evening schedule that many teams, fans and riders had requested. Unfortunately, the GP Ken Hushvod has folded due to the race organizers inability to secure adequate funding for time keeping and course marshals. Litvalk defended the decision in the announcement, stating, “The Ronde and Marin Roubaix are the core of our classics season while the GPKH, though a worthy event, was not up to the same level of popularity with the fans and riders.”

Details Leak About SanRaflaanderrs Route

While the official route unveiling is not scheduled for 2 weeks, some reported specifics have been bandied about out this years RVSR parcours including a claim that PHRO has uncovered several, as yet, unknown bergs. Joos Litvalk, when questioned about these rumors, declined to give specifics and paused only long enough to say, “It will be the old and the new, the borrowed and the blue.”

What exactly this means is unclear but Cyclingnews Flemmish correspondent, Jorgen Burgerbogen believes that this refers to a return to several of the classic bergs and that the course will feature even more punishing pave. “I wouldn’t be at all surprised to any or all of the legendary Marin bergs in this years race. The Gerstleberg, the Irwinberg, the Crownberg and (thought many riders may tremble at this thought) the dreaded Kingberg could all make an appearance.”

This would certainly hold with the PHRO philosophy of late that has seen an ever harder parcours with ever more bergs in the last several years. After the 2010 edition saw a record 11 bergs, one can hardly imagine what PHRO’s dungeon masters will drum up for the riders in 2011.

Has Cherry Gone Soft?

The Patron of the Peloton, Stijn Cherry, who has been ever known for his legendary toughness, has apparently been living a life of leisure in the off-season and many are questioning if his trademark grit is slowly being leached from his body by his nubile, young, live-in concubine. Famous for waking up before dawn to train in all kinds of weather, Cherry has reported to have not woken up before noon in over 6 months! Furthermore an unnamed source has been quoted as having seen Cherry being fed peeled grapes by his muse while reclining on a bed of rose petals while listening to bootleg Barbara Streisand recordings. While, one must certainly give the grizzled veteran the benefit of the doubt, the track record of riders living a soft life and arriving at the San Raflaanders start-line unprepared for the savagery of the undertaking is not positive.

Paskenta Blood Control Coverup???

Hushvod, VanDerStandish, Lodewick all pulled from start line with no explanation.

The cycling world has been abuzz of late after Ken Hushvod, Baen VanDerStandish and Jonus Lodewick, two of whom are former San Raflaanderrs champions were hurriedly ushered away from the start-line in Chico just prior to the flag dropping for the start of Paskenta, the traditional Marin World Cup warm-up race.

While Hushvod had made clear his intentions were for training miles only, Lodewick and VanDerStandish had both indicated their intentions to compete for the win. Rumors have since surfaced that the scratches were possibly due to irregular blood values and the WADA is looking to the possibility that all three had far below the requisite THC levels in their systems.

Allegation have immediately begun to spring up that Hushvod, Lodewich and VanDerStandish have been “racing clean,” which, if proven, could have disastrous results for the riders, teams and their sponsors. More on this story as it develops.