BREAKING: PHRO Releases RVSR 2014 Route

LITVALK CALLS SUDDEN PRESSER

In a surprising move, Joos Litvalk, PHRO Chairman and Chief Dishwasher, held an impromptu press conference this morning to reveal the official course for the 2014 Ronde von SanRaflaanderran. Given that traditionally, right up until the week prior to the fake-race the route is a tightly controlled secret, today’s announcement came as a welcom surprise to the teams and fans of the event. While much attention was given to the course layout, speculations about Litvalk’s motives were also in ready supply.

The narrative that has taken shape is that the early announcement will allow the lesser contenders to reconnoiter the route more thoroughly and lessen the advantage of the local fake-racers. Many fans were disgruntled last year when, expecting a hard fought and exciting race, they were instead left with yet another tête-à-tête between Jonas Lodewick and Ken Hushvod.

While publicly denying any influence of last year’s two rider, yet predictably one sided dual, many close to Litvalk report that he was privately outraged at the lack of resilience and fortitude shown by the rest of the field. Perhaps the growing chorus of riders complaining about the lack of adequate route documentation and prep time has finally swayed the notoriously intractable Litvalk.

Building on the previous edition’s improved route sheets, this year PHRO is not only including the official route sheet and a detailed elevation profile of the course but also an interactive Google course link: 

http://goo.gl/maps/HsqWW

Perhaps those bemoaning a lack of course knowledge will be able to put that in their proverbial pipe and smoke it.