Mailbag Answers

Xinia,

Thank you so much for your letter. See you at the Hushvod booster party Tuesday night! It wasn't easy tracking down your old heroes, but we have a few answers for you!

Jeffe Cantarutti

Congrats should be offered to Jeffe Cantarutti who recently dominated the Kent Lake Challenge a well known but small Bass fishing tournament in California. Cantarutti's strong showing caught the eyes the Italian National Bass Team looking to put a European stamp on the Bass Master Elite Series. Jeff will be shooting for the Angler of the Year and a brand New Toyota Tundra.

Jens Van Wyngaert

Jens Wyngaert has unfortunately fallen on bad times. He was recently admitted to Napa State Hospital where he is currently recovering from an streaking incident in his hometown of San Francisco. Rather than go to jail, Wyngaert opted for the mental hospital. As you can see here, he has not fully recovered.

Marcus Peuusheler

Marcus Peuusheler rides his bike occasionally, but is more interested in preparing his border collie mix for the Border Collie World Championships in Munich this June. Marcus is also running for Minister in his small German hometown. Seen here at a fund raising lunch, Peuushler's campaign is based on naming Sierra Nevada Pale Ale as Germany's official beer. This has angered many of his compatriots.

Baen van der Standish

Baen van der Standish, seen here training in the wine country is seriously considering a ride in this year's Rhonde San Raflannderrs. PHRO director Joot Litvalk has assured van der Standish that PHRO does not have a helmet rule. In response, van der Standish is reportedly a possible starter.

Andee "dutch crunch" Van Amerseen

The "dutch crunch" can often be found riding his bike in Richmond, California. Van Amerseen has accepted a job as a traffic conductor for the California Transportation Agency known as Cal Trans.

Dougart Delonesh

Dougart Delonesh is doing just fine as seen in this picture. Delondish has not been seen riding much of late as he is assisting Jeffe Cantarutti's run at the Bass Master Championships later this month. In the meantime Dougart will continue enjoying his primary passion the musical arts.

Dear Tuesday Night World Championships...

Hello,

I am a HUGE cycling fan. I am really looking forward to tomorrow night's San Raflannderrs. I will be waiting along the Gerstleberg and at the finish. My favorite rider is by far Ken Hushvod. He is the bomb! But I like all the riders like Davey van VonSimeon and Jimmi Robinski. Jimmy is super cool, especially when he grows his hair out. I hear that he is single and has a hot tub too. Is that true?

Anyway, I was wondering where some of the old time riders are. I know Mathys Foley is washed up, and Johan Finley is now working as a bank teller. However, I'd love to know where some of my old favorites are now. Where are the old superstars such as Jens Van Wyngaert, Marcus Peuusheler, Baen van der Standish, the "dutch crunch" Andee Van Amerseen, Dougart Delonesh and Jeffe Cantarutti?

Please PLEASE tell me how my former heros are faring. And if you find them...foward them my facebook account!

Thank you!

Xinia Deportes

*A BIG FAN!

XOXOXO

Special San Raflaanderrs Early News Edition

Fredericcio Possible Late Scratch for San Raflaanderrs

The rumor mill is churning with a purpose in Marin today with an unconfirmed report coming out of the Whole Athlete camp that team captain Dario Fredericcio may not start tomorrows Ronde von San Raflaanderrs.  While no official statement has been issued, many are speculating that Fredericcio's possible non-start may be a symbolic statement on his denied petition on the relegation of Ken Hushvod in this past weeks Marin-Roubaix.  Fredericcio, who apparently felt poorly used by PHRO in the matter, is currently second behind Jonas Lodewick in the MWC overall standings and if indeed he does not take the line on B St tomorrow, this will likely spell certain victory for Lodewick.  

R.A. Von Schmidt Vows to Retain Red Lantern Title Despite Marin-Roubaix Absence

Belgian hardcase, R.A. VonSchmidt is trying a new approach in his quest to capture an unprecedented 3rd straight Lantern Rouge title - Not Starting.  A surprise no-show at last weeks Marin Roubaix suffer-fest, VonSchmidt has taken the art of indolence to an previously unexplored level.  Apparently concerned about his ability to ride slower than everyone else and feeling threatened by a challenge from newcomer Stijn Cherry for the title of Most Torpid, Von Schmidt devised a new stratagem for losing...not starting at all.  The result?  An even firmer grasp on the Red Flame of Mediocrity.  "I respect and fear Stijn's methodical pace and also his overt level of relaxation.  To lose to him, I had to think "outside the box" and create a new methodology.  By not starting, I avoid the dreaded DNF, yet also manage to escape the most damaging statistic of all: a placing."  VonSchmidt looks to secure his title this Tuesday in San Raflaanders.  What new wrinkle will he come up with this time?  Riding backwards?  Puncturing his own tyre?  Pre-breaking his chain?

Van der Standish Looking for First San Raflaanderrs Finish

While no one in this cycling rich region would think to question the experience and palmeries of Baen Van der Standish, 

the Sonoma County cycling star is not taking his first Marin World Cup event lightly.  "I am riding this year's Ronde von San Raflaanderrs solely for training and experience.  To think that I could be competitive with the Marin strongmen in their home race on my first attempt would be folly of the highest order.  I will follow wheels, learn the course and hope for a top 10 finish."  

The potential start of Van der Standish has more than a few cycling pundits questioning if he is a ringer brought in by Lodewick as they were, at one time, teammates on the now defunct Dewar's Racing powerhouse team of the early part of the decade.  Keeping a sharp eye out for envelopes being passed between the entourage of Lodewick and the Dewar's team car will likely be great sport for the fans on Tuesday's Ronde.

War of Words Continues Between Hushvod and Lodewick

In a rivalry that has reached levels unseen since the likes of Abbott and Costello, Ken Hushvod and Jonas Lodewick have maintained a veritable fusillade of aspersion towards one another this past week with both sides lobbing their fair share of invective.  

Lodewick, who in a post Marin-Roubaix interview obliquely referred to Hushvod's strategy of marking his wheel in every move as "cowardly" and prior to Hushvod's namesake event, the GP Hushvod, remarked that the aging local star was "washed up."  Hushvod for his part answered Lodewick's convincing win in the ITT with a victory of his own at the Marin-Roubaix, dropping Lodewick with little under 500m to go in the velodrome.  In the days since the race, the press has picked up on several stories that allege Lodewick's "family trip" to San Diego was, in reality, a secret training exercise as well as releasing photos that show a wrecked silver Audi A4 that is claimed to be Lodewick's.

  

While no official connection has been made, it is virtually certain that Hushvod has loosed his pet paparazzi on Lodewick in a contemptible effort to distract the charismatic star from focusing on tomorrow's San Raflaanderrs.  In a statement released today by his public relations staff, Lodewick refuted these claims and placed the onus directly on Hushvod to claim responsibility.  

"It is well known that my wife's family is in San Diego and that we were there for her cousin's wedding.  These rumors that I was training are totally without merit and only proves that Hushvod must resort to deceit and trickery to attempt to gain an edge.  In fact, in order to make my point, I have not ridden any training miles in 5 days as preparation for San Raflaanderrs.  I plan to arrive at the start line as the most unprepared rider there, if only to show the cretin Hushvod that class, good looks, great hair and a well put together kit will triumph over his sloppy clothing, "Tractor" bike and substantial paunch every day of the week."

Lodewick is obviously pulling no punches in his statement and he went on to say, "Hushvod attempting to sic the paparazzi on me is contemptable.  My visage is known from Milan to Sunset Blvd and only his sycophantic local news hacks would swallow such absurdity.  I'm suprised that Hushvod didn't follow me to San Diego...he seems follows my wheel everywhere else!"

Well then.  It would certainly seem that Tuesday San Raflaanderrs will, if nothing else, be not without fireworks.

Rumor Wheel! Sonnen Ends Lodewick Sponsorship?

It was learned this morning that Sonnen Motor Cars may have terminated its relationship with Jonas Lodewick. This may have had something to do with Lodewick's violent outburst at a photographer while training in San Diego this weekend, or simply his poor driving skills. Lodewick has for years been driving newer model Audis in a sweetheart deal with Sonnen. However, he may have damaged his last Audi ride. The Sonnen/Lodewick relationship was likely terminated this morning. Lodewick was seen dropping off his damaged Silver Audi A4 in the early morning hours at Sonnen Motorcars. Lodewick was seen riding off on his bicycle, rather than driving the customary loaner A5 given to high profile customers during servicing.

This is surprising move given Lodewick's strong performance at this year's MWC. However, many believe that Lodewick's combustible personality is at fault. Perhaps Sonnen is well aware of Lodewick's diminishing skills (both driving and on the bike) and that the public has grown tired of his over-the-top personality. This must come as a crushing blow to Lodewick's ego on the eve of San Rafalannderrs. Many feel this will have a major effect on Ledewick's already fragile confidence.

More breaking news as we learn more.

Cycling Quick Shots

Lodewick Busted Again!

Jonas Lodewick has once again been caught taking things a bit too seriously. Reportedly in San Diego for a "family event", Litvalk was spotted on the southern coast of California during a 6 hour training ride. Clearly in preparation for Tuesday's Rhonde San Raflanders, Lodewick looked strong. Of course, when questioned about the family event, Lodewick had no comment. When pressed further, Litvalk became visibly angry, shoving a photographer and nearly throwing a punch before riding off.

Boonen a scratch at San Raflanders

Shortly after news of Litvalk's secret miles was leaked, Tom Boonen cancelled his flight to the United States. Tom Boonen, a one-time friend of Lodewick has not been seen with Lodewick in some time. Many have claimed that the bromance has cooled in recent weeks. The Boonen camp has stated that Boonen's cancellation is due to a "tight schedule and fatigue," but nearly everyone close to the story knows better. Boonen feels Lodewick hold on the MWC crown is secure. With Hushvod out of the MWC points race, only worn down Italian Fredericco stands in Lodewick's way.

Mathys Foley Booster Club..shuts down

As of April 11, 2009, the Mathys Foley Booster Club closed its doors. "We have no money, we have no hero. We have nothing to cheer for," said a dejected and likely once beautiful woman outside the boarded up office. Mathys Foley has not started one event of this year's MWC series.

German Jens Van Wyngaert Says Screw It!

One-time darling of the German drinkers standing along the course, Jens Van Wyngaert was seen riding this weekend in San Francisco's Golden Gate Park. Reportedly riding off yet another "big night," Wyngaert, when asked if he would be starting the 2009 San Raflanders simply said. "screw it!"

Hushvod's Winning Ride!

Surly might describe many of the rider's attitudes towards Ken Hushvod's controversial victory at Tuesday's Marin Roubaix. Ironically, Surly is also the name of Hushvod's winning ride. The beautiful green Surly Cross-Check, much like Hushvod himself, could make a schoolgirl blush. Outfitted in 90's era Shimano Ultegra brake lever shifters and a potpourri of other low level components, Hushvod's ride was sight to behold.

"Tractor"
Of special note was Hushvod's tire set up. On the rear, Hushvod opted to run a worn cross tire of an unknown origin. On the front was a Continental road tire, reportedly ridden through the Paskenta gravel in 2006. Marcus Clisjsters said the bike resembled a "Tractor."

"The bike set up was awesome," commented Hushvod. "Had Litvalk not held me up in the Chinawerp pave I would have likely ridden away from everone right there."

Hushvod experienced his second flat in two weeks, mirroring Fredericco claims of sabotage. However, it seems the Hushvod booster club is not the culprit. Many are pointing fingers at Mathys Foley and Johan Finley, disgruntled, one-time hopefuls who have not been seen at any of this year's MWC events.

Ronde von San Raflaanderran - Race Announcement

Official Race Announcement:

Ronde von san Raflaanderran

 Presented by PHRO.

April 14th, 2009

Event Schedule:

6:45 pm – Ceremonial parade departure from the Hushvod Boosters Clubhouse on B St, San Rafael.
7:00 pm – Neutral Zone Ends

7:15 pm – Gerstleberg

7:45 pm – Fairberg

8:30 pm – Kingberg (cima Jimmi)

8:45 pm – Finish (estimated)

9:00 pm – Results and podium ceremony at Hushvod Boosters Clubhouse.

Event Description:

The premiere event and crown jewel of the Marin World Cup "Super Month," the Ronde von San Raflaanderrs is a legendary event in the storied history of Marin County.  Heroes are made and broken on the steep slopes of the many bergs, which are the signature in this test of courage.  Littered throughout the countryside, these often savagely steep climbs are as varied as the riders who will contest the victory.

Several new climbs are featured this year that have not been used in past editions of the Ronde.  Riders get a rude awakening right out of the gate as they are forced to ascend the Gerstleberg, a medium length climb that begins with an average 22% asphalt slope that abruptly turns to dirt with no relief in the grade.  While tough, this early in the race, this will more likely serve to wake up the riders than create any selections.

The other key bergs to note are in particular the Kingberg, which is the longest and highest point in the race, featuring an almost 1k climb entirely on dirt with a less than ideal surface, the Bridgeberg which will likely be the last opportunity for a break to form and the last climb, the entirely new Havenberg.  The Havenberg, while not especially steep, has it's peak at exactly 1k to go in the race.  With its repeated switchbacks (a la L'Alp d'Huez) the Havenberg will be the final opportunity to attack before the final uphill sprint to the top of Seminary hill and the finish line.

While the field will come for a myriad of backgrounds, San Raflaanderrs caters to the strongmen of the spring, riders who are able to attack with power up the short climbs as well as descend with abandon are the rule of the day.  The only sure outcome is that whoever ends up on the podium will, no doubt, have earned their place.

The course starts at B St and finishes at the top of the hill at the San Anselmo Theological Seminary and is run in a clockwise circuit.  It is NOT a closed course and riders can be expected to see automobiles, pedestrians, hikers and possibly other cyclists.

*******This event is run entirely for fun and not for profit.  To borrow a phrase: "The less fun you have, the more you'll pay."  Anyone over the age of 18 is welcome to attend.  Registration is free but the promoter is accepting donations.  Leffe, Duvel and Stella Artoisare preferred but anything of Western European origin is acceptable currency.  Anyone found taking this event seriously will be banished from all Marin World Cup events for a time period no less than 1 year.  Also, you will suck.  Safety first.********