Lodewick Cites Easter Conflict; Looming Hallmark Strike
Bowing to pressure from the Belgian Chocolate Workers Union, PHRO has announced that both Marin World Cup races have been postponed for 7 days, pushing the Marin-Roubaix to Sunday April 15th and the Ronde vonSanRaflaanderran back to Sunday the 22nd. Faced with the threat of looming protests from a myriad of fronts including the aforementioned BCWU strike, a formal complaint by the Vatican regarding Marin-Roubaix being held on Easter Sunday and a threat of course blockage by the United Hallmark Card Writers Association, PHRO Jackmonkey in Charge, Joos Lodewick did what any sane person would do and changed the dates to avoid any further incidents.
Perhaps the largest pea in Lodewick's mattress was the recent revelation that local hero and noted man-of-the-people Ken Hushvod was looking to be a late scratch for reasons allegedly relating to prior sponsorship deals. Those in the know however have hinted that the Hushvod Booster Club is the underlying cause of a majority of the civil unrest and had been inciting protests with the hopes the fake races would be postponed. They will seemingly get their wish although whether it will be enough to urge an aging and, some would say, over the hill Hushvod within shouting distance of the podium remains to be seen.
Marin Roubaix
Sunday April 15th
3:00pm PST
Ronde vonSanRaflaanderran
Sunday APril 22nd
3:oopm PST
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