Jonas Lodewick: Strong for a reason!
Jonas Lodewick not actually drinking.In another amazing twist to the Marin Tuesday Night World Championships, Jonas Lodewick missed a random, out of competition drug test this weekend. As many already know, a missed test is assumed a negative test, meaning what many have suspected for some time: Jonas Lodewick is taking himself and the Tuesday Night race series too seriously! Many suspect that Lodewick has been on a long cycle of no drinking or smoking to gain an unfair advantage over his competitors.
To borrow the phrase: "The less fun you have, the more you'll pay."
Could not be more appropriate! Lodewick is not having any fun, and the peleton has surely noticed.
Ken Hushvod, who is currently 3rd place and one of the largest supporters of bench stops was quick to comment on the Lodewick missed test, “Oh really? Lodewick missed a test? Of course he missed the test! The dude has been clean ever since I have known him! He never sits on the benches with the rest of the riders. He is always in rush to ride more!” Showing true concern for his fellow rider, Hushvod went on to say, “Jonas needs to slow down and smell the...roses. I worry about his long term health and mental stability. He needs to throw the Frisbee and ride his mountain bike more. He has a hard life. He went to Branson and Pepperdine. He was married at 19. Had a kid at 21. What do you expect? I pity him.”
Italian Dario Fredericcio, the closest finisher to Lodewick at the GP Ken Hushvod ITT was not as understanding. Visibly angry and defensive when caught outside the Good Earth Natural Foods in his Fairfax hometown Fredericcio was seen carrying Tofu and herbal tea. Fredericcio immediately claimed the healthy food was for his long-time live-in companion Abby Cunningham. When asked about Lodewick’s missed test he replied “Isn’t it obvious? Of course Jonas is clean! He beat me by 7 seconds! WHAT'S UP WITH THE DEWARS KIT? Jonas is a hypocrite! His lips haven’t seen alcohol for months--yet he wears a Dewars jersey? He clearly “prepared’ for the series!”
Fredericcio, who has for years been suspected of being too serious on Tuesday nights has never missed a test. In fact, Fredericcio, who created a scandal by riding with a power meter at the Hushvod ITT went on to say, “Test me. Test me! I sat on a bench last week. How dare you accuse me of taking anything too seriously! If these allegations are true, Lodewick can ride in his Dewars Kit as much as he wants. If he does not submit to a test immediately Jonas will not be permitted to ride in the Whole Athlete colors!”
Stay tuned to learn more as we bring you up to date coverage.
To borrow the phrase: "The less fun you have, the more you'll pay."
Could not be more appropriate! Lodewick is not having any fun, and the peleton has surely noticed.
Ken Hushvod, who is currently 3rd place and one of the largest supporters of bench stops was quick to comment on the Lodewick missed test, “Oh really? Lodewick missed a test? Of course he missed the test! The dude has been clean ever since I have known him! He never sits on the benches with the rest of the riders. He is always in rush to ride more!” Showing true concern for his fellow rider, Hushvod went on to say, “Jonas needs to slow down and smell the...roses. I worry about his long term health and mental stability. He needs to throw the Frisbee and ride his mountain bike more. He has a hard life. He went to Branson and Pepperdine. He was married at 19. Had a kid at 21. What do you expect? I pity him.”
Italian Dario Fredericcio, the closest finisher to Lodewick at the GP Ken Hushvod ITT was not as understanding. Visibly angry and defensive when caught outside the Good Earth Natural Foods in his Fairfax hometown Fredericcio was seen carrying Tofu and herbal tea. Fredericcio immediately claimed the healthy food was for his long-time live-in companion Abby Cunningham. When asked about Lodewick’s missed test he replied “Isn’t it obvious? Of course Jonas is clean! He beat me by 7 seconds! WHAT'S UP WITH THE DEWARS KIT? Jonas is a hypocrite! His lips haven’t seen alcohol for months--yet he wears a Dewars jersey? He clearly “prepared’ for the series!”
Fredericcio, who has for years been suspected of being too serious on Tuesday nights has never missed a test. In fact, Fredericcio, who created a scandal by riding with a power meter at the Hushvod ITT went on to say, “Test me. Test me! I sat on a bench last week. How dare you accuse me of taking anything too seriously! If these allegations are true, Lodewick can ride in his Dewars Kit as much as he wants. If he does not submit to a test immediately Jonas will not be permitted to ride in the Whole Athlete colors!”
Stay tuned to learn more as we bring you up to date coverage.
Of course Lodewyck missed the test- the guy's favorite beer is Peroni. Is that even beer? He claims to be of Flemish heritage; HIGHLY suspect to me. No real Belgian hard man would be caught dead with a Peroni in hand. In fact I can personally vouch for the fact that Italian beer is made when true Belgian hard men visit the WC after a night of drinking.
ReplyDelete-R.A. VonSchmidt
I personally will drink and smoke Lodewicks share. If he wants to act like some sort of serious cyclist then that is his problem. I mean this is the Tuesday night world championships, I have always despised Lodewick for not sitting on the bench with us, and then throwing high brow comments about Branson! Please - save me! Right now I have to get back to my bottle of vodka. I have already started my victory party!! The cobblestone is mine!
ReplyDeleteWho parts his hair for him?
ReplyDelete