MWC Mail Bag - Joos Answers Reader Questions

Where Oh Where Has Foley Gone?
Dear Joos - 
My favorite fake-racer is Mathys Foley. He's dreamy! How come he hasn't been in a MWC fake-rake in over 3 years? I long to rest my gaze on his smooth wrinkle free visage, admire his well formed but not bulging guns and yearn for a glimpse of his "pro" riding form. Will we see Foley in a MWC event ever again?
-Sincerly
Patiently Waiting

Dear Patiently Waiting:
I wish I knew. Foley was a MWC mainstay and provided much animation to the early portions of SanRafllaanderrs (although rarely was he seen after critical selections were made). Mathy's PHRO license expired in 2010 and has not been renewed by his handlers. While PHRO has no first hand knowledge of his status, rumors on TMZ claim he is now fake-racing in a junior cycling circuit. We wish him the best but share your opinion (although not your feelings) about Foley returning to grace the MWC with his presence.
-Joos


Is Robinski Ro-Kinky?
Dear Joos - 
What's all this I hear about there being a cover up on Jimmy Robinski being out of the MWC due to injury that was sustained while "surfing?" As a long time member of the Robinski Red Army, I can state with conviction that there is NO COVER UP happening and that rumors that Robinski was injured while attempting self-fellatio are totally FALSE. Please clear up this confusion for fans of the MWC.
-Best Regards
Joe Blob

Dear Joe:
I can neither confirm no deny the cause of Robinski's injuries. While he has been know to flail about in the ocean while chained to a board, I would hesitate to refer to his hobby as "surfing." With regards to the insinuation that his bruised rib were injured in some kind of horrible auto-erotica contortion, I have no comment. Having said that, I have heard that Robinski has been on a very regimented and demanding yoga and flexibility program as of late. For what reason, I would decline to speculate.
-Joos

A Bear Market on Clijisters?
Dear Joos - 
Why won't you let my sister top local women's fake-racer Angelica Stevensteers into the MWC? We both know that Markus Clijisters is the one wearing the red silk thong in that partnership. 
-Signed
The Best Women's Bike Racer in the US Right Now (Or So I've Heard).

Dear TBWBRITWRNOSIH
Who is this? Would you mind taking a look at my portfolio?
-Joos