CYCLISH NEWS: Weekend Scandal Special!

Lodewick Accuses Hushvod of Foul Play in Marin-Roubaix

In an incendiary exclusive interview today, Jonas Lodewick, two time Marin-Roubaix/SanRaflaanderrs double winner and defending SanRaflaanderrs champion, stunningly made pointed accusations towards Ken Hushvod, last week's Marin-Roubaix runner up. Lodewick, whose Roubaix campaign was fraught with unfortunately timed punctures that resulted in his DNF, made loud claims that Hushvod had instructed his Booster Club members to scatter broken glass and tacks on the route just after Hushvod and Jimmy Robinski, his breakaway partner passed with the express purpose of puncturing the chances of the pursuit. Not content with just starting a fire, Lodewick stoked the flames further by stating that Hushvod "couldn't beat (me) in a fair race if I was riding a bike with square wheels, which is why he must resort to such dastardly low cunning."

When contacted, Hushvod's manager, Johanna Hendrikx issued the following statement:
"We're not saying that Lodewick isn't not a non-lying douch-bag who couldn't not hold Hushvod's saddlebag but we're also not saying that Lodewick isn't not any of those non-things."

Whatever the translation, you can be sure that Lodewick has certainly lit a candle of controversy on his curious campaign.

Clijisters Late Scratch for SanRaflaanderrs

 

We have just received news that Markus Clijisters, two time SanRaflaanderrs winner, will not start today's fake-race. Clijisters, who had a disappointing 5th place finish at last week's Marin-Roubaix after puncturing on the Levee Santa Venetia, has been nursing a back injury sustained while carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders for too long. He had been attempting to rehabilitate his injury in through a strict regimen of repeated canings at the hands of his trainer and mistress, Anjelika Clijisters (no relation) but today threw in the proverbial towel and will miss a chance to add a third SanRaflaanders crown to his palmares. His absence will, no doubt, be felt in the group as Clijisters was always a featured protagonist in the Marin World Cup.