Sunday, April 6, 2014

Late breaking news: Von Schmitt to defend title

In an unprecedented turn of events Cyclish News has received unconfirmed reports from a source "with knowledge of the negotiations" between career Duvel rider R. A. Von Schmitt and his management. Earlier in the week a dispute between the plucky, flambouyant, Duvel rider, much beloved for his training regimen and his perpetually "off the back" riding style had led management to remove Von Schmitt from the Marin Roubaix roster "due to a conflicting engagement." While at the time both parties were tight lipped about the nature of the dispute, it has been revealed that "the Red Devil of Faire-faxenville" had approached his main sponsor with dismay about the decison to import the legendary Golden beverage into the U.S. Market in keg form.
In a statement released monents ago the Red Devil had sharp words for his sponsor:
"I ride for honor and glory in the tradition of my ancestors, who have ridden in every classic race since Duvel has been made. Our two tradions have been intwined for generations. Abbey ale has always been fermented in the bottle and carbonated on it's own yeast. Like the making of a true classics hardman, this process takes time and the character it builds cannot be achieved through alternate, sub-par means. I can no longer in good concsious fly the Duvel colors now that they have stooped as low as to betray their heritage because Americans don't like yeast sediment in the bottom of their glass. Duvel in a keg? Blasphemy!"

"While it pains me to risk breaking the chain of a Von Schmitt riding in every single classic since this honorable tradition began, I cannot ride with honor wearing the colors of betrayal. Duvel has betrayed me and the generations of riders that have come before me. I am bound by contract, but hopeful that a sponsor will step forward in time for me to ride once again."

It appears that Von Schmitt's hopes have been answered, as a new sponsor has in fact appeared to have bought out his contract at the eleventh hour. Reports are coming in that there is more controverys still, in that his new sponsor is the American Russian River Brewery that has come to his aid. They have been making ale less than a generation, in fact brewed their first batch the same year Von Schmitt became a neo-pro. However, it has been reported Von Schmitt's affinity for their ale and their traditional methods immediately made them kindred spirits.

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